Nemo me Impune Lacessit!
by Miss Ventriloquist
Summary: None provokes me unpunished! . . .Hidan has broken Deidara’s heart for the last time. Pregnant, alone, and cast out from the Akatsuki, Deidara plans his revenge . . . And gets some help? SasoDei, HiDei, Mpreg
1. Chapter 1

Nemo me Impune Lacessit!

A/N: My Honors English teacher, Mrs. Williamson, had us read The Cask of Amontillado, and told us to look up Nemo me impune lacessit, which means _None provokes me unpunished, _in Latin! I really like it! And guess what . . . ANOTHER SASODEI! . . . You're all going to injure me, aren't you? -Runs away- Oh, and I'm going to try a little different style, too!

Summary: Hidan has broken Deidara's heart to many times. Pregnant, alone, and cast out from the Akatsuki, Deidara plans his revenge . . . And gets some help? HiDei, SasoDei

Prologue: I am

You don't know me. No, you don't. You will never, _ever_ know you. But I know _you_. Oh, I know you. I know you.

Oh, enough of that. To our story.

Where should I start? At the beginning, yes. I should start there, my dears.

I'll start now.

Oh, and my name is Kami.

**I AM ALONE I AM ALONE I AM ALONE I AM ALONE I AM ALONE I AM ALONE I AM ALONE I AM ALONE**

Deidara's eyes gleamed as he rushed to his and Hidan's shared room. He couldn't wait to tell his lover the amazing news!

He saw the Jashinist sitting on their bed. His eyes were closed, and, for some strange reason, there was none of the usual blood on him. The blonde blinked at that, puzzled at it. He slid behind him, wrapping his arms around his seme's waist.

"Hey, Hi-kun." he purred seductively. A pale hand pushed him away, shocking the blonde beauty that was named Deidara.

"H-Hi-Hidan?" he managed whispered out, scared. The man turned to him. His violet eyes bored straight and deeply into the blonde's blue ones.

"Deidara. We need to talk. Like, right fucking now." The bomber's heart dropped to his stomach, and he shivered. This happened often enough, but this time was different. Hidan had _promised_!

"This isn't working, Dei-chan. You know that. And this time, I don't want to get back together. Ever." The loss of curses were evidence to his seriousness.

"B-but you promised! You promised! PROMISED!" screamed Deidara. A loud sound of skin on skin resounded through the small, dark room.

"Shut the fuck up, bitch. Oh,yes, and one more thing, whore," Hidan growled with a smirk, "Your banished from Akatsuki, forever."

"B-but why?!" It took a moment for Deidara to comprehend what the Jashinist meant.

"Your missions are not being fucking completed correctly, and there are those little bastards of ours in you." Deidara shivered as Hidan continued, "You need to be gone in a fucking hour, or you'll be have killed, slut." That got him moving right away.

The white-haired man shoved him to his closet, and threw a rucksack to him, "Take this." He took his leave without a backward glance to his distraught ex.

**I AM ALONE I AM ALONE I AM ALONE I AM ALONE I AM ALONE I AM ALONE I AM ALONE I AM ALONE**

Deidara trekked through the forest, his usually lively eyes distraught and saddened. Soon enough, they turned angry.

How _dare _they?! He was Takahiro no Deidara, destroyer of Iwakagure no sato, the legendary bomb artist! He had destroyed half of his village and most of the ninja population of Iwakagure at ten, and assassinated the Tsuikage (A/N: Is that right? I forgot) at eleven, and had been forced into the Akatsuki at thirteen! He was the greatest artist in the world! How could they do this to him?!

As his rage grew, so did his thoughts of revenge. His eyes narrowed, and he growled. The anger he felt turned to Hidan.

How could he leave him? Didn't he love him? He knew of the bomber's past, of course. He knew how much his words struck the very core of the younger man's fragile glass heart. And, NOW?! NOW?! He obviously knew what afflicted his lover. He knew he helped cause it. And Deidara had thought he would love it. Or, moreover, _them_.

The blonde anti-Iwa nin's pulse quickened, his heart raced, and his eyes grew large. Excitement of what would become flooded him, and he let loose a happy grin. The plans were set in motion at that precise moment.

In thirteen years, he would fight.

In thirteen years, it would end.

In thirteen years, he'd have his revenge.

In thirteen years, he and his children would become the rulers of all of the Elemental Countries and the Akatsuki.


	2. Thirteen Years Later

**Disclaimer: I. Don't. Own. This. Shit. Got it?!**

**Almost Thirteen Years Later:**

A handsome, 28 year old blonde watched three young teens practicing in a meadow before him. A smile slid onto his face as he watched his children.

_Its almost time, _he thought, _I'll finally have my revenge on those bastards!_

A grin split his face, and he flicked the lock of hair over his scope away from his face. He was still the same, gorgeous man he had been when he was sixteen and pregnant, but more mature and prideful.

Deidara watched his blonde daughter flip and land on her brother's back with a loud cry. His smile grew as he watched them lovingly. His son, a boy with shaggy, snow white hair, yelped and swung his elbow out, hitting the blonde away from him. The third sibling and other daughter, watched quietly. Deidara sat up from where he sat, and called, "Ai, Gin, Koko, un!" The three quit their fighting, and hurried to their mother.

Deidara made the sign for 'Tiger' and a large, stone mansion appeared where a forest had been.

The small family walked into the house. The carpets were a deep red, the curtains that adorned the huge windows an intelligent blue. The walls were a royal purple,

and were paintings in the front room; a silver sword, a red heart, and a white crane surounded a massive, yellow owl. Its eyes were a bright blue and imposing, matching the silken curtains. A maid scurried over to the four, and spoke, "Deidara-sama! The representitives from Kumo is here!"

The eldest blonde nodded, "Alright, Aki. Tell them I will come in a moment, un." The maid nodded and ran off, leaving the Kitashima (I) family. Deidara turned to his children.

"Go, get ready. And Gin, don't flirt with Akane in _front _of her father!" His son sighed softly, and mumbled a "Fine . . ." Ai giggled, whislt Koko smirked. When their mother gave them a look, they rushed off. Said male mother sighed, and went to the dining hall to greet his allies.

Koko stepped out of her room, her long, black hair in a fashion not unlike her father's, standing out against her pale skin. Her baby blue eyes gleamed softly. She wore a lovely black kimono, with cranes embroidered on the sleeves and collar. White cranes decorated her red obi.

Koko glanced to her left. Ai was decked out in pink robes, much to her sister's disdain, with a pale blue heart in the center. Her blonde hair was in a high bun, and some of it fell before her violet eyes. The obi was blue.

To Koko's right, her only brother, Gin, was wearing jade green robes, lined with silver. His wild silver hair was brushed back (well, attempted to). His pale green eyes gleamed eagerly.

Ai grinned and clapped her hands, "Come on, lets go!" Koko rolled her eyes slightly, and yawned, muttering, "Yeah, yeah." Gin grabbed their hands and dragged them down to the dining hall.

Deidara shook hands with Kumo's representatives. He needed strong relations with the Hidden Villages to be able to extract his revenge. The Kage **(someone tell me** **what its called!)** was in his debt, and so he was closely allied with them. Though, these formal parties annoyed him and his children to no end. Except Koko, for some reason. He sometimes wondered if she was Itachi's child . . . The young blonde shuddered at the thought of the bastard sharingan user. He almost hated him as much as he hated Hidan. Which is extremely difficult.

He smiled though, when he thought of his lovely children. No matter who their father was, he loved them. They were so much his children! Even Koko had her wild and crazy moments where she just needed to let loose. Ai was almost a copy of himself, as a female, of course! Gin, though he looked much like the damned Jashinist who sired him, has none of his traits.

Speak of the devil. The triplets stepped into the luxurious room. He smiled and waved them to their seats, before returning to his own and beginning it officially.

(I'm to lazy, damnit!)

When the meeting was over, they all took to their beds. They had no idea that a scarlet-haired puppet was watching the entire party in the puppet of one of the representatives from Kumo. And that the same man knew all of their secrets after watching.

And that he was at the window of Deidara.

OMG! SORRY FOR THE WAIT! My laptop committed suicide on me! I almost had a new chapters to ALL of my stories finished, but my Dad didn't want to save anything for this new laptop I have (It's brown and has silver keys! SILVER!!), and this upset me. Greatly. And my hamster died the SAME DAY as my laptop! I cried for three hours straight! Now I have a new tortoiseshell hamster, Lilly! So, thanks for waiting! I love you guys!

I won't demand reviews, but I'll love you if you dropped me one!


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